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 Jokes!!!!!

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eber322

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Join date : 2009-10-10
Location : Michigan

PostSubject: Jokes!!!!!   Sat Apr 21, 2012 1:02 am

An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man came to the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, "Well, doctor, it’s like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. She even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, but still nothing. The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" The old man replied, "Yes, none of us could get the jar open."




A little boy comes down to breakfast, and his mother asks if he has done his chores. "Not yet," said the little boy. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he’s a little ticked off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "How come I don’t get any eggs and bacon? Why don’t I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks. "Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don’t get any eggs for a week.. I saw you kick the pig, so you don’t get any bacon for a week either. I saw you kick the cow so for a week you aren’t getting any milk." Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "You gonna tell him or should I?"

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